Outlook on Life & Death

When there is silence and my mind is occupied with free time, I tend to wander down the path of morality, time, and existence. By that I mean I ask the questions humanity has too many answers for: What is the meaning of life? For thousands of years we have explained it with religion, science and a variety of other mediums, but frankly nothing seems to have a clear & reasonable answer. Religion is too broad and specific at the same time; there is never an answer that doesn't contradict every other one out there. I rejected my initial Lord and any others I've seen because, really, if they're so mighty and powerful, why hasn't one God proclaimed himself the most powerful? Why are there so many tinier factions when there should be peace under one Lord? Would he not have pity on those born into cultures where his word is non-existant? No, I look at religion as a sense of comfort. And with Science, what does it all answer? We can determine our species for as long as we want, look into the minute feature of our organisms, but there is no explanation for intelligence, or a definition that truly explains what is what.

Science, though, seems to be the basis for all those atheists like myself who look around for answers. For about four or five years I have slowly become unattached from my former Lord and sucked into the world where you are alone. My mind is just that--mine. I draw my own conclusions on fate and death, with that being when I encounter death, I stop. My thoughts? Nothing, complete nothing. It would be as if a man became disintegrated and there was nothing left to bury, with even the ashes disappearing into earth. For those who are used to the comfort of the idea of an afterlife, jumping to complete nothing is scary.

So, how do I maintain my sanity? If a man knows, or believes rather, that he will completely stop all function and that all the thoughts and what-not will dissappear, how can he stay comfortable with his life? I have not adapted to any idea of "Enjoy Life to the Fullest," but rather, day by day, get lost in my thoughts. Sometimes I even think that I might be going a little crazy. Maybe I am. It's a crazy, though, that I seem to be used to. Through my abyssmal thoughts I have developed a "FTW" sense of humor and attitude. I grow to enjoy life because I fear nothing. If I find myself working at a convenience store in my far future but I'm still able to listen to my music or watch the world go by, a smile should be laid across my face. The thoughts of nothingness may sadden me, but I smile more when I'm doing what I love. Until then, though, my moments of silence will be all for me, periods where I can zone off miles into the distance, looking at nothing in particular and thinking about everything I can.